The Friday F-WIT

Pronounced 'eff-wit'.

On Triple J's afternoon drive show 'The Doctor' often entertains me as I drive home from work. He does some great segments during the week, but on Friday afternoon anyone is a contender for "The Friday F-Wit!". This can be anyone or anything that people can call/tweet/text in with a 'winner' annouced at the end of the show. This weekend contained many 'nominations' from myself (not for myself). Let me give a warning first, this is a massive rant. Ok, warning over.

I consider myself a pretty 'nice' cyclist. I am a supportive person and I think of others when I ride. I give tubes to people with flats, I escort new mtbers around tracks, I'm the first person to turn around and hunt someone down who's lost, I give way to everyone on the trails no matter how much of a pain that is, I follow the road rules no matter who is watching, I go out of my way to make riding enjoyable for everyone.

So, here's my weekend. FULL of Friday F-Wits! Beware, a number of case studies ahead.

1) Friday Morning. River loop. Must have been the day every man, woman and f-wit decide to don the $20 Cellbikes jersey and ride the river loop from 6am. As I approach the hill leading up to doorknock tce I notice a huge bunch of cyclist heading up the hill at snails pace. Strange? Some gumby 'team' of f-wits are riding FIVE ABREAST (yes I meant to say BREAST) along the busy main road forcing all cars into the right lane and around 40+ cyclist to follow at snails pace up the hill. Some other f-wits try and overtake on the right lane stopping ALL cars from passing.

F-Wit alert...

NO WONDER CYCLISTS HAVE SUCH A BAD REPUTATION. I'm sorry, you deserve to be hit by a car. Quite frankly, If I were in my own car... nevermind.

2) Saturday Morning. Mtb fix at Gap Creek. I rode from home over Cootha and down Dingo. Carpark packed with weekend wankers warriors. Funny thing about weekends, less people say hello and more people who think they are Sam Hill. Anyway, lots of rude people about, whatever, 20km of sweet single track finished. I decide to head out of the carpark, over dingo and down cootha home. On my way out of the carpark a Lance Armstrong wannabe takes off in front of me and I just follow on my merry way away from the carpark. A few hundred meters in I come across a kid (10yo maybe) and dad. Dad warns me about some bloke (the guy who took off in front of me) who just came past and abused his kid for not moving... wtf?! I have a laugh with the kid and take off up dingo.

OK, disclaimer. I often ride up Dingo... but i remain in granny gear and ALWAYS hop right off the track if I see other riders. I have NEVER had a problem with this.

I hear a rider coming. I pull over and walk slightly up the hill (really steep bit). Guess who it is, the lycra clad rider who abused the kid. I don't say anything. He approaches, slams on the brakes and starts having a go at me for going the "wrong way" up Dingo. Now I'm a skinny white boy, and I would never usually approach anybody, but this bloke was REAL tiny (i.e. small man sindrome) so I think, fuck it, I'll bite. The next 5 minutes spent abusing the hell out of this guy for everything from trail management, respecting others, kids in sport, being a fuckwit in general, you name it. He suprisingly (and thankfully) backed off and kept riding. I decided to follow his wheel all the way back to the carpark just to piss him off. I then took off via Beilby road amazed at this guys actions.

I took some pointers off the spin king

I often wish this would happen to some cyclists. 

Enjoy.